Last Sunday was very unfortunate Sunday. I still feel that that Sunday be deleted from calender. I lost my mother on that day. I missed her so much, but cannot change destiny. I have to accept it.
She was really brave lady, She was bed ridden for about five years but never showed on her face her own pains, SHe used to say " Do not worry, I am fine. Take care of youself" Realsing now how difficult was it for her to say so. She was really brave and tought me lessesn of positivity by pracicing it. thnikers just do not say " Month is first Guru and she is first University for child" My mother proved it once agian like many mothers.
Now I am thinking what I missed, I wanted to do so many things but now missed those.
I wanted to record voice of my mother - she knew many old folk songs, stories.She had lot of old memories.
I wanted to talk to her on many topics
I wanted to show her many photographswhich I took
I wanted to have just sit by her side and chat something
But now all these are after-thoughts. Shoudl have done it on time and not say will do later.
Thinking now what can be not repaired!! This period woke up many old memories and made me feel that how we miss so many things in our rat raceof life. Epsecially after coming to Mumbai, I am missing time for self. No time for self, no time of health, no time for relations, no time for peach of mind, just run run run and run!!!!
And all this for what? if i cannot spend time for myself, for my family, for my friends, for my socity, what is use of all these things?
At this moment, I remember gazal of Jagjit Sing - "Kagazki Kashti aur wo barish ka paani"
But this time have gave me chance to think - to think about myself, my life. I wanted to correct many things now. I met few of my old friends to whome I had not met for years, but their visit in this sad episode made me think about life.
Chalo, let us see!! With this wakening up, I must do something and try to return something to my family,my friends, my society and spend some time with myself for my own.
